(The Annoyances and ‘Dangers’ of Constant Connection & Communication: what’s creepy & ‘sketchy’, and my simple strategies on how to avoid getting hurt, or worse: getting awkward.)

By Keyan Herron

disclaimer: This article is somewhat lengthy, sorry.  Also, logos belong to the websites written above them, I own none of them, only mine (such as it is).

In today’s age of smartphones (ipone vs. android, oh my!), laptops, and social networking sites, (and don’t forget the IPAD!) real privacy is quickly evaporating and we are exposing quite a bit of ourselves to the world on a daily (or hourly) basis (usually at our own will).

But when you share your whereabouts, thoughts and other digital information, it’s only with your closest friends and loved ones, right?  I mean only people you love and talk to day-in and day-out are keeping up with your constant e-footprint, tracking your moves and sending you messages through a dozen protocols (not even to mention email and classic phone calls), right… right?

Dead wrong, my friends.  You’ve probably realized this as I did a while ago; when people you didn’t want to talk to started annoying you daily and mysteriously showing up around you ALL THE TIME.  It’s time to take a look at what we’re sharing, who can see it, who IS seeing it, and who your friends really are, and what our online personas mean to our real, physical lives.

It all starts with our favorite old friend: Myspace.

#1: MYSPACE

Ok so, who really uses Myspace anymore?  Plenty of people still do, but Myspace was really just the beginning.  Remember all those cases of creepy forty-year-old men pretending to be attractive nineteen-year-old guys (who strangely tend to look just like anime characters) to get close to innocent fifteen-year-old fan-girls?

Well we’ve mostly moved away from that kind of anonymity based creepiness, now it’s real, unfiltered people, maybe even people we know (yeah, MAYBE)

That brings us to the game changer: the big ol’ book o’ faces.

#2: FACEBOOK

Facebook.com totally changed the game.  It caught on because it was simple and clean; because it was real people and real pictures and info.  It was verified and it was a great tool to connect you to people you worked with and went to school with.  The appeal grew as you started hearing people say “don’t worry, he’s on facebook, EVERYBODY IS”.

Yeah, I’ll be the first to admit, I love being able to call any of my facebook friends automatically from my “google phone,” but there are seriously annoying (sometimes dangerous) consequences to the spread of facebook into every aspect of a young person’s life.

Let’s start with the near fact that “everyone is on facebook.”  Chances are, many of the people you don’t like (or worse, the ones that don’t like you) are on facebook.  They come along with the extended relatives you try to avoid, your teachers bosses and coworkers, the annoying kids a few years younger than you (you know, the people who you never even talked to or had anything in common with, but in high school they thought you were cooler than you really were) and not to mention all those people who want to get in your pants.

Yes, the worst part of facebook (and indeed this whole networking revolution) is that the awkward people you don’t want to date (and NEVER will want to date) suddenly think they have a serious chance (simply because they have a computer, if not that they “TRY harder than all those undeserving people” : meaning the people you ACTUALLY COMMENT BACK TO).

What’s even worse is that these people who you’d never consider friends, ARE PROBABLY YOUR “FRIENDS.”  I’m on the low side, and I have nearly a thousand facebook friends.

Do I keep in close contact with all of them?  OF COURSE NOT!

Do I know most of them?  PROBABLY NOT!

The trouble is, many of them think they know me (or would like to know me better…  yeah I know, EWW)

But Facebook is just the first step in annoying (or stalking) a true 21st century young adult.  A simple profile, newsfeed, and photoset get tied into the next few great sources of info for the creeps out there (but don’t look far, they’re probably among those people you just approved blindly on facebook last week)

#3: LAST.FM

This one is a little more innocous, but there are still some issues; let me explain:

In this day and age (any killers fans out there by the way?) many of us can easily get as much music of any kind we want for free from many online sources.  And because it’s so easy to have a huge library and extensive tastes (not to mention more time to listen with the advent of ipods) useful tools like Last.fm are popular, and display a lot of personal information.

But let’s be clear, it’s useful to user, friends, and CREEPY STALKERS!  We listen to so much music, and love to talk about it, so creepy people have a much better insight into our personalities (AND MORE STUFF TO “HAVE IN COMMON”).

#4: TWITTER

I am not a big fan of twitter as it’s used now, but it’s not really because it allows for stalking (I’m an avid user of pretty much everything else I mention in this article).

I just don’t need to know the mundane details and daily boring thoughts of everyday people (says the boring guy who pays domain fees for a blog about nothing) (I get more than enough of that schlock from my overloaded facebook newsfeed).  If I care about those things from someone, I’ll discuss them one-on-one and in person.

But so many people love twitter, so it allows stalkers and annoying “friends” a good chance to follow every boring (but not to them) detail of your life.

That guy, you know the one; the guy you never really talk to but yet he’s always commenting on the most mundane posts of yours…  yeah he’s a creepy 21st century stalker, just sayin’.

#5: FOURSQUARE

Like most other users of Foursquare, I love it but I have NO IDEA WHY.  It’s simply one of those addictive things you get used to.  But you’re really really really hooked once you start mouthing off at some guy you’ve never met because he just usurped your mayorship of some bar, restaurant, or school building.

The danger of overusing foursquare is very very risky if you have a VERY creepy traditional kind of stalker (you know, the one that eventually tries to kill you.)

And he (or she; yeah it happens guys) doesn’t have to try very hard in this case.  Your movements are tracked if you use the app religiously, and a weirdo you know (but ought not to) can predict where you will be without ever asking you what you’re plans are.  (it’s called a pattern, kids)

#6: GOOGLE LATITUDE 

This fairly new one has the most potential for creeptastic creepiness once it gets real real big.

I mean, giving GPS-accurate coordinates of your exact position: need I say more?

My Thoughts:

Ok so, the tech world is moving much faster than social education.  By this I mean that we’ve yet to teach people not to be creepy on facebook, and for some reason our society STILL turns out a few stalkers, rapists, pedophiles, and serial killers now and then (though that’s deeper and ultimately a different issue).

What can we do to get away from dangerous sketchballs and annoying people who fantasize over us (yeah it sounds conceited, but I believe there’s at least one unwanted suitor for each one of us sometime in life) in this hyper-connected age of digital everything?

As individuals, we have a few options:

1. Disconnect from the modern world. (if you even can these days)

2. Keep close watch on who you share data with; actually manage your facebook friends, and set as many things to private as you can.

3. FIND WAYS TO DEAL WITH OR IGNORE CREEPY OR ANNOYING PEOPLE WE MAY NOT LIKE.

Now, most of us below 30 (or in fast paced careers) can’t give up the opportunities and communication afforded by the age of smartphones.  These days it’s hard for nearly any American to live a ‘normal’ life without an email account.  I know some older people who chose to not use technology past the Television and home phone (mostly out of hacker and big-brother paranoia) but they’re spouses or relatives are very connected for them (nullifying the disappearing act they thought they could pull).

If you’re like me, you want to stay as connected as possible (to a social fault sometimes) so what can you do?  Option 2 is a good idea; I don’t subscribe to it so much because I am lazy, eager not to miss a second, and I am capable of the 3rd option.

The bottom line is that if someone wants to find you, track you, stalk you, or even just know you better, they really can and probably will if they care to.  I get sketched out a little when a few people hit the like button or comment on all my facebook wall posts (when I’ve never met them) but I don’t bother paying much attention to it unless I care to engage those people in friendship, conversation or what have you.  Until they put a chip in my head, I will always have my own personal “ignore button” that doesn’t require a mouse, a phone, or the latest versions of Flash and Java.

Human connection has been around since humans have.  It’s what all this digital connection is really just supposed to speed up and make easier, but ultimately it’s my brain and my ‘heart’ that will keep awkward acquaintances and creeps away.

If someone is really bothering me, I don’t give them the time of day (the reply button is not always needed).

If they pursue whatever the motive is in person, I can muster the courage to either sit through their annoying blather or tell them to go away.

If it goes further than that, I don’t need an Ipad or a blackberry or facebook to dial three simple digits.

Ignore people worth ignoring, but when you’re really in trouble, say it with me:

NINE ONE ONE

Thanks for listening guys, feel free to comment below.

It’s no secret that Richmond Virginia (my hometown) is home to one of the nation’s biggest hipster enclaves.  It is also well known that jean cut-offs are both a hipster phenomenon these days, and a staple of the Richmond youth community’s summer wardrobe.

I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I have quickly fallen into the club.

But don’t expect me to fix-gear my mountain bike, listen to Animal Collective, or look like I just climbed out of a dumpster. (no offense to by “budget shopping” friends)

I suppose I could trace this back to a very artistic and crafty friend of mine who agreed to make some shorts out of my jeans since this summer is looking like it’ll be a hot one. (and since I hate giant baggy “man-shorts”)

Suffice to say, I decide to try my hand at it in the mean time, and in doing so I inadvertently took a step toward hipsterdom.

Pictures of some of my terrible experiments are below.  (by the way, I have more old jeans than iphones have apps, so I can afford to do this)

(picture from www.urbanoutfitters.com)

I don’t know, this does look like a shirt a hipster might wear.

And it’s available at urban outfitters, so it could be a grand deception.

You decide; respond/comment below:

?

I’ve been thinking about this; isn’t it interesting when you think about where it is that you’ve seen that guy before?

That guy being the actor who plays a tough-ass dude in a movie or on some TV show.

Then you realize he got famous for playing some nerd, dweb, or other embarrassing role.

Like the guy on Criminal minds who used to be on Dharma and Greg.

Or the sword slashing evil dude in the new Charlies Angels movie who played Marty McFly’s geeky dad in Back to the Future.

Just a thought.

-Keyan

The easy answer: yes

The short answer: most of it

The real answer (mine) is as follows:

…

First, the media sources I truly respect are:

Iranian people on twitter

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

The Colbert Report

The PBS News Hour

The Rachel Maddow Show

And probably a few newspapers (I’m illiterate, sorry)

Reporting and commenting on current events today is a like walking a fine line.  No longer is the literate and intelligent populace able to discriminate the real news an seek out honest sources.

What we often find now is that journalism, like other PUBLIC SERVICE industries, is primarily concerned with being an industry first.  Reporting the news and giving expert analysis is an essential part of what keeps a republic (representative democracy) functioning.

Like the early 20th century “progressives” before me, I do not believe that simply taking a vote is enough to keep democracy alive.  A nation ruled by the will of it’s people is only as strong in the governmental and economic senses as its people are in intelligence and social awareness.  If you know your history, you might recalling reading about how those progressive reformers defined freedom.  Freedom, as I will call it, means more than to be left alone.  In a democratic, complex, socially-intertwined and incredibly dense society such as ours, we must be educated to be free.  Each person must be given a fighting chance and a reasonable idea of what is going on, or else our ENTIRE society can not function to it’s fullest potential.

Without real un-tampered sources of news, a nation can not continue to make decisions AS A NATION.  It’s no mere coincidence that kings and public ignorance used to be so common.

Most of our modern news sources, entertainment sources, and so called “arts” are corrupted.  In my opinion, we aren’t getting those facts we need, we aren’t getting a fighting chance.

Instead of honest news, now we usually get illiterate anchors who look like common whores, crazy extremists who do nothing but excite their base audiences, and long drawn out stories about things we don’t need or care to know MORE AND MORE AND MORE ABOUT:

The death of Michael Jackson

That stupid kid in the hot air balloon

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Joe the Plumber

Half-naked superbowl halftime shows

Kanye West showing Taylor Swift he’s the man

These things are not news, they should be blurbs at best.

So why is that what we get?

No, I do not blame a government conspiracy or an elite right-wing enclave or a wealthy upper-class for the problems of the world.

If the world has a problem, it is the world’s fault; it is the responsibility of everyone.

Such a principle is even more true in a democratic society.  A government for, of and by the people fails when we fail.  So too do our institutions reflect the problems of our society.  When an individual rises to power enough to bring us down, it is our responsibility to join together to stop him; no one person or one problem will ever be able to stand in the way of The United States of America; but that is only when the American states (and all of us) truly are UNITED.